to kill an angel.

2005-12-11T20:08:00.000-08:00

HELLO POSTING ON CARA'S BEHALF.

actually she didn't ask me to post lah.

but i'm just helping her update.

here's what i think she'd say:

i ♥ juran
i ♥ thaydin
i ♥ finrod
i ♥ griffin
i ♥ HIM
i ♥ him, too.

isn't that very accurate? TSKTSK anyway once she sees this post she'll kill me and/or delete it but HOPEFULLY people will see it so i can add to the list, yeah?

2005-11-27T20:04:00.000-08:00

HELLO AVRIL HERE

i shall stop calling myself "avvie" because i don't like the way it's spelt.

so it's av. and avril.

yayNESS. see, that's how you copy me, cara... NESS.
i'm sorry, but i'm not okay with it. you copying me, that is. i can't help it, i just don't like you to copy me that way. okay?
now you're going to say you didn't copy me. i know. they're always like that.

2005-11-25T22:43:00.000-08:00

that was avril, by the way...

2005-11-25T22:40:00.000-08:00

HAH, CARA. BEAT THAT (:

so that's aenildur then.

oh, and people call aenildur by her middle name coz she doesn't like aenildur (i don't, either.) so it's gabriella! ~weird.

NEVERMIND.
roflmaohahalol.

2005-11-24T01:08:00.000-08:00

BACKNESS! Like finally. Sorry for the long hiatus- I went to Phuket for a while. {Got some special people prezzies!! *grins*}
Well. I think I'm gonna go on a short blog hiatus. I'm not quite made up yet. *shrugs* And anons, please go get a life. Thank you.

And thanks a million to Elemm and Maxy and Jae and Nic and all the wonderful people who stood up for me. Guess I can tell who my true friends are, eh?

Cya all in a bit.

2005-11-12T07:14:00.000-08:00

Goodnight, sleep tight
No more tears
In the morning I'll be here

And when we say goodnight
Dry your eyes
Because we said goodnight
And not goodbye
We said goodnight
And not goodbye

I only wish this was true.
That it was goodnight, and not...
And not goodbye.

2005-11-12T02:52:00.000-08:00

Me here again.
Okay, so I have been tagged. Sheesh. *heavy sigh* Well, since I have lots of time here anyway, I'll do it. 5 weird and random things about me, eh? Weird and random things....well, that shouldn't be too hard. Try just about everything about me. *gets ready to lose whatever street cred she has*
1. There was this time when I tried starving myself. [no, I'm not anorexic. I just can't resist a challenge] And I went without food for like two days and I was starving my arse off. And it became a challenge to me- how long I could stay without food. It wasn't that bad at first, didn't really feel hungry at all. But then I found out that going without food doesn't make you lose weight- in fact, the body stores up the carbos and turns them into the awful four letter word...fats! Ugh. So no more starving from now on.
2. I had a taxi driver ask for my number. Okay, now this was one of the most traumatic experiences ever. It was...*shudder*...just totally wrong! EwyuckyuckYUCK. No details needed.
3. I love eating funny stuff that normal people wouldn't ordinarily touch. Okay, so I'm not that over the edge. It's all pretty safe, really....crocodile and things like that. Pretty much the norm, if you think about it.
4. I lovelovelove roleplaying!!! Okay like duh that was so obvious. But it's true, so yeah. *waves "i love role playing" fan club banner* ^^
5. I HATE it when people stereotype. Okay, so it's fun to take those "which stereotype are you" quizzes. But when it all boils down, I hate it when people stuff other people into tiny boxes and label them.

Yep, so that's 5 things about me. Now onto my day.
I went to Arthur's party with Maxy, Mich and Tingy. We were the only girls there...so weird. Luckily I took off my glasses, and I didn't really look made up- unlike Mich, whose eyes I did up really dramatically , and Maxy, who wore a ton of lipgloss and her black toga. Tingy was looking pretty natural, and she was worrying nonstop about Benjamin dahling. *snickers* Tingy and her hot legs, Maxy and her hot ass [hey, they made it up, not me!] and Mich with her hot..*coughs*. Never mind. [I was innocent, I swear. No, really.] And me with my hot nothing. *grins* Yeah but really. I don't have hot legs or whatever...I'm just average.

Random observation: it's much easier to go to a party with guys when you have your glasses off. You'll feel less nervous, cos you can't see anyone really clearly. ^^ Seriously. Trust me on this one. *laughs* There was this weird guy, whose name I shall not disclose since I'm so nice (:. And Tingy and I went to the washroom, and I sat at the stairs outside the washroom and waited for her. And that guy kept twisting around and looking at me from behind the corner of the wall! So weird. Well. I don't really have use for guys now. Really. I mean, guys are generally nicer in rp, strange and moronic as this may sound. But don't you agree that most rl guys are a) immature b) poserrific c) unhot d) taken e) gay ?

And, on a sadder note...Kin's leaving for good. Blast his dad for taking away his internet! *is waiting on AU* Sheesh. I don't think he'll come, and I'm ravenous. Ah well. Now it's a battle between my mind and my tummy. Oh and btw, thanks Avvy for making me that awesome affie thingy.

2005-11-07T20:47:00.000-08:00

heyya. me again, as usual.
I slept over at maxy's place yesterday. it was fun!! we talked to chris [aka glorfi aka knife maker] on msn, and found that he's actually superb at doing voice impressions. Really. He sent us a few- in his Gollum voice and in his Kronk voice- y'know Kronk from The Emperor's New Groove? *laughs* It was totally entertaining- and I burnt his voice recordings onto a CD, just so I can listen to 'em when I'm in a sour mood and hopefully cheer up.
I also talked to a certain somebody...I'm only trying to help him, but he doesn't see it that way. He refutes all my debates with the most irrelevant answers, and he throws in the bragging as well. I mean, I like him as a friend, and I'm just trying to help him find the light. Okay, so maybe only God can totally do that. But I can always do my part, right? And I stayed up til 2am talking to that guy, and all for nothing. His arguments don't even make any sense. Fine then. If he thinks burning in hell for eternity is cool...I really can't do anything to change his mindset. I feel like everything I do for him is all in vain- like he just pushes me away. And the bragging! *shudders* I can't stand it, I really can't. He's generally a nice guy, and he has so much potential- but he's just wasting it away on things treading dangerously close to Satanism and the occult! And what got me riled the most was that he blasphemed against the Bible. I got so mad, and if I had been talking to him in rl then, I so would have given him a socking he would never forget.

*sighs* But enough about him. As for me? I'm at the LAN gaming centre now. Maxy, Jae and Ting are playing DDR in the arcade, but I see no sense in that game, so I ended up here. It's pretty noisy here, what with people playing CS2 and all...but I don't mind. At least I get to go on the comp. *grins* Although unfortunately, nobody's really on AU. It always happens; everytime I spend money and come to a LAN centre, no-one's on AU. Just my luck, aye? *shrugs*
And I haven't seen him for quite a while. I really hope he isn't another Thaydin. Oh well. I guess my thoughts on this matter belong more in my diary than on a blog, so yeah.

I may blog back later. This comp can only open 1 internet window at a time, so I'm painstakingly hopping from site to site. Oh, and the rp on Hidden Realms is getting really cool. We're currently being attacked by some hideous beast...and one of the members of our company is falling for my character. *sighs* Typical. Ah well. They're all really nice, and I really should be going as well. Namarie!

2005-11-07T03:15:00.000-08:00

♥ our fic.

i REALLY love it. now wouldn't it be SO cool? anyway. i'm going to work on *some* character now. it's a SECRET. i think. get it, tan-tan? THE GUY. let's don't reveal much about our plot okay? keep everybody in suspense, eh?

okay. i'm going to work on the guy now. thanks for tagging, BANANANAAAAAAAAAA.

2005-11-06T04:09:00.000-08:00

Dear my love, haven't you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven't you longed to be free
I can't keep pretending that I don't even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own

Take my hand -we're leaving here tonight
There's no need to tell anyone- they'd only hold us down
So by the morning light we'll be halfway to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one know who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I've dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore

Let's run away, I'll take you there
Forget this life- come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you

Forget this life- come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you now

...and i want you to know that i miss you.

2005-11-05T06:08:00.000-08:00

You're too important for anyone
You play the role of all you long to be
But I, I know who you really are
You're the one who cries when you’re alone

But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can't escape
You can't escape

You think that I can’t see right through your eyes
Scared to death to face reality
No one seems to hear your hidden cries
You’re left to face yourself alone

But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can't escape
You can't escape

I realize you're afraid
But you can't abandon everyone
You can't escape
You don't want to escape
I’m so sick of speaking words that no one understands
Is it clear enough that you can’t live your whole life all alone
I can hear you in a whisper
But you can’t even hear me screaming

But where will you go
With no one left to save you from yourself
You can't escape
You can't escape

I realize you're afraid
But you can't reject the whole world
You can't escape
You won't escape
You can't escape
You don't want to escape

is this what's happening to me right now? Am I running away from something I'm afraid to face? Is this my way of virtual suicide- slowly cutting myself away from the real world? This song seems to fit quite aptly. Almost too aptly. It's scary, really. 'Specially the bit about 'you play the role of all you want to be'. That's exactly what a lot of RPers do. All of us are imperfect, and so our characters are a reflection of who we are inside...who we want to be. And since we can't be that perfect person in real life, we live out our dreams in fantasy.
This is not meant to be a depressive post. I'm just...thinking, about me and my life in general. Things have been happening so fast, and so much in me has changed, so much so that sometimes I can't even recognise myself. I like fantasy because in fantasy, I have control of what happens to me. A Prince Charming? I can get one, no problem. [*grins* In fact, I think he's already come. ] A palace? No sweat. Just role-play and you have it. Magic powers? Too easy. All the beauty and glory ever?! Hey. It's no biggie.
See? In fantasy, you can have everything. Even your own happy ending. And although real life is good [or so I'm told], sometimes we just can't get that happy ending we've always wanted, since we were children. And in real life, we have to accept that our Prince Charming will never ride up on his white horse, decked in shining armour, and come and save us from the fire-breathing dragon. See, it just doesn't happen that way. Do you want a more likely scenario that would happen in real life? Well. You find the man whom you think is the perfect guy. You marry, and have kids. Then it starts falling apart. You have to see a doctor. You start self-mutilating, and taking anti-depressants to sedate yourself. And eventually, in the worst case, you would have to file for a divorce. Now. Compare the two scenarios. Which one would you rather have?

You vs. the world
Dreams vs. the facts
Happy endings vs. unknown endings
Swords vs. nuclear bombs
Fantasy vs. Reality.

Take your pick.

2005-11-05T05:45:00.000-08:00

The words have been drained from this pencil
Sweet words that I want to give you
And I cant sleep, I need to tell you... goodnight
When we're together I feel perfect
When I'm pulled away from you I fall apart
All that you say is sacred to me
Your eyes are so blue, I can't look away
As we lay in the stillness you whisper to me
Lady, marry me, promise you'll stay with me
Oh you don't have to ask me,
You know you're all that I live for
You know I'd die just to hold you, stay with you
Somehow I'll show you that you are my night sky
I've always been right behind you
Now I'll always be right beside you
So many nights I've cried myself to sleep
Now that you love me I love myself
I never thought I would say that
I never thought there'd be you

I miss him. Or rather, Tanaquil misses him. Yeah, whatever. Tanaquil and I. Same person, aren't we? I sound rather schizo now, but anyway. I thought I'd see him tonight. And he's different from the rest. Cedric[ugh], Griffin[double ugh!] and all the rest of them. He takes things slowly. Which is good, really. And even if you see us tagging, we'd be talking to each other just like friends. Which is good, right? No mush, no sap. [not much, anyway. (:] He helped me find Neithan, the little brother who I thought had died that day when my rp father flung him and my rp mother into the ravine. And gosh the both of them act so much like brothers that it's freaky. Neithan is such a little rogue. *laughs ruefully* He's still innocent, I guess...but he's already becoming a rebellious teenager. And K*****? He had this strange dream the other night. He keeps worrying bout me, and it has to do with his dream somehow. *sighs*

And Elemm's banned from rping. That seriously is the pits. I'm so going to miss her. *sighs again* Mellon nin- if you're reading this- know then that all of us will always keep you in our hearts.

2005-11-05T03:33:00.000-08:00

he dared to care
he dared to trust me
he dared to love me
he dared.

He's fought and he's fallen
He's on his knees before he's on his feet
A sinister romantic
Well he's about to be and she's about to see

Teaching torches burning bright
He's hanging on the cheek of the night
A snowy dove troopin' with crows
He never saw true beauty till tonight

She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh don't you know it -don't you know it
So he falls enough to feel that he's fallen
She'll let him know his heart
Oh don't you know it- don't you know it
That's Shakespeare in love

He's fraught and he's fallen
He's on his knees before he's on his feet
A glittery romantic
His bounty's boundless like the sea
His love is endless, just as deep
The more he gives the more he has
'cause both of them are truly infinite

She'll take him to the brink of deliverance
Show him that much
Oh don't you know it -don't you know it
So he falls enough to feel that he's fallen
She'll let him know his heart
Oh don't you know it- don't you know it
That's Shakespeare in love

2005-11-03T20:18:00.000-08:00

well it's not so bad.
you're just the best i ever had.

i'll always remember
it was late afternoon
you were all by yourself
staring up at a dark grey sky.

goodbye to you
goodbye to everything i thought i knew
you were the one i loved
the one thing i tried to hold on to.

i like song lyrics (: they're nice.
my blog has tonnes of song lyrics.
wheeeee.
i didn't post yesterday; oops!! oO
but anyway. i'm posting now.
tanana! nobody's tagging your blog teehee.
except me. moi.
i'm bored.
sigh.
didn't hack her account.
i'm innocent.
telling the truth.
but she won't believe it.
even if she did she won't apologise.
bit awkward yeah? accusing me of doing that when i didn't?
i'm not going to say i don't care what you think of it.
i do.
because i'm accused.
falsely.
AAARRRRGGGGHHH.
why can't you just believe me.
why.
at least EVERYBODY ELSE knows i didn't hack it.
gosh.
just my luck isn't it.
what an unlucky year.
avvie.

2005-11-02T04:13:00.000-08:00

She walks to school with the lunch she packed
Nobody knows what she's holdin' back
Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday
She hides the bruises with linen and lace

The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask
It's hard to see the pain behind the mask
Bearing the burden of a secret storm
Sometimes she wishes she was never born

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
...Concrete angel

Somebody cries in the middle of the night
The neighbors hear, but they turn out the lights
A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate
When morning comes it'll be too late

Through the wind and the rain
She stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above
But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
...Concrete angel

Astatue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned face
A name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot.

2005-11-02T00:45:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I hate the world
And it's like you just can't see
You want me to be perfect
But I need me to be ME.

why won't you just shut up? I know sometimes I'm wrong, but that doesn't mean you have to go and blow it up to whoever, just to get me in trouble. The problem is people think you're a complete angel. And you're going to blab about this to, but whatever. I don't really care anymore.
Can you just back off my life? It's not like it's gonna last very long anyway, so why can't you just let me be?

2005-11-01T23:40:00.000-08:00

I tear my heart open
I sow myself shut
My ~~weakness~~ is that I ~~care too much~~
My scars remind me that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to ~~feel~~

Forget about the fight to wear the crown of scars
'Cause you've already won
Forget the pain and leave tears behind you
Bury underneath your feet the remains
Of what's been left behind
'Cause you have got a long, long way to run

But now you dance the rest of the way
And you don't look back
Can you hear that angel singing
As you rise

Now you fly away
And you don't look down now
And you laugh till you can't laugh any longer
As you watch your chains fall to the ground

Will you fall against the wall that you have built with your own hands?
When you trip upon the thorns that you have tied your legs together with
When you walk upon thin ice you know you should not be walking

Now you fly away
And you don't look down now
And you laugh till you can't laugh any longer
As you watch your chains fall to the ground
And now you laugh
And your tears smile down at your fears
From where you are
From way up here
You know nothing's ever looked so good
Nothing ever looked so good

But now you dance the rest of the way
You don't look back
Can you hear that angel singing
As you rise

♥ avvie

2005-11-01T23:00:00.000-08:00

i have compiled a portfolio of pictures of Aenildur Miriel. view it at:

http://photobucket.com/albums/c52/Aenildur/

the picture named 'sias' is to display the weapon Aenildur uses.

There are too many questionsThere is not one solutionThere is no resurrectionThere is so much confusionAnd the love perfusionYou make me feelYou make me knowAnd the love vibrationYou make me feelYou make it shineThere are too many optionsThere is no consolationI have lost my illusionsWhat I want is an explanationAnd the love perfusionYou make me feelYou make me knowAnd the love directionYou make me feelYou make me shineYou make me feelYou make me shineYou make me feelI got you under my skinI got you under my skinI got you under my skinI got you under my skinThere is no comprehensionThere is real isolationThere is so much destructionWhat I want is a celebrationAnd I know I can feel badWhen I get in a bad moodAnd the world can look so sadOnly you make me feel goodI got you under my skinI got you under my skinI got you under my skinI got you under my skinI got you under my skinI got you under my skinI got you under my skinI got you under my skinAnd the love perfusionYou make me feelYou make me knowAnd the love intentionYou make me feelYou make me shineYou make me feelYou make me shineYou make me feelI got you under my skinI got you under my skinI got you under my skinI got you under my skinI got you under my skinI got you under my skinI got you under my skinI got you under my skinAnd I know I can feel badWhen I get in a bad moodAnd the world can look so sadOnly you make me feel good

haha lol.

2005-11-01T17:10:00.000-08:00

they call her for dinner-- she makes up a reason
she looks down at her wrists and she rolls down her sleeves
her mother is starting to see through her lies
and last night her father had tears in his eyes

she builds her own world of dreams in the dark
and although no-one's watching...
she's falling apart.

2005-11-01T06:13:00.000-08:00

hi! i like this vampire pic. it's nice. yes? YES!

~random.

anyway. whee. i like neopets.

~~AVVEH~~ AVVIE WAS HERE

Aenildur Miriel

2005-11-01T03:57:00.000-08:00

posted by av

profile.
name. Aenildur Miriel (pronounced Eye-kneel-duur)
age. 20 mortal years
race. Witch
power. Blows things up with a flick of her hands.

appearance.
Being a Light Mage, Aenildur has locks of white blond hair cascading down to the mid-upper arms. Though here eyes are of a soft, grey-violet hue, they have hardened over the bitter seasons, reflecting a cold, steely glint. Because of her lean, athletic build, she can overcome physical obstacles easily, granting her the strength that most long to have.Aenildur is usually seen wearing light, flowing gowns of subtle hues that go with her pale figure.

history.
Aenildur was born the youngest child of Kenthar and Aeana, both powerful rulers of the Light Mages. Aenildur's mother was much weakened after childbirth, and after spending three short years with the daughter whom she had always longed for, Aeana eventually passed away. Aenildur also had a brother eight years older than her—Lander. The both of them grew up together and shared a special bond; and Lander was Aenildur's closest confidante.
Aenildur was taught to weild the sias from a very young age. The sias are a set of long daggers with thin, sharp blades engraved with ancient symbols. She weilds them with perfection and accuracy.
When she was four, Kenthar was killed by Rhiannon, Cierryne's father. Although Rhiannon was killed later by Cierryne herself, Aenildur vowed for revenge against Rhiannon's kin and practised with her sias every day for hours, using the skills her father taught her. Years later, when she was ten, she wielded the sias with deadly perfection and stunning grace; making her a formidable Light Mage.
Throughout her teenage years, many attempted to win over the Light Mage princess, enamoured of her cold beauty. However, Aenildur spared none. By seventeen, Aenildur had killed many that had tried to seduce her, and she was known as the ice princess, never letting anybody into her life and keeping her distance from crowds, gatherings and laughter. She can be found in dark corners, watching the scene before her with her head held high and her intriguing eyes slightly narrowed. She rarely speaks, but when she does, her voice comes out in a ringing, commanding tone. Though she listens to others, she sometimes chooses not to obey.
After the death of both her parents, Aenildur wandered around the castle, lonely and lost as Lander took the throne. Eventually, she trusted nobody but Lander, whom she respected greatly because of his nobility and capability.

strengths.
Aenildur is a powerful witch with the ability to lead and command. She has a strong personality and gets things done as quickly and as efficiently as possible. She can also muster a great amount of strength to use her powers and does not tire as easily as other witches.

weaknesses.
She tends to be overly confident. She also loses her temper easily, and it is in these instances when she hurls items around and blows them up in aner. Preferring to lurk on the borders of the crowd, she is also more of an introvert, and finds social situations extremely awkward and meaningless.

look at me; look at this face. for the next ime you see it, it will be the last thing you see.
~Aenildur Miriel

Cierryne.

2005-11-01T01:44:00.000-08:00

This is a piccy of Cierryne, my charrie for Avvie and my newest fic. *grins* And here's a bit[well actually, quite a lot] about Cierryne. Just bored, that's all.

Name: Cierryne

Race: Doristar [formerly Andyrrian: Doristar-Illuvrien]

Appearance: Cierryne has a cascade of dark hair, ending in subtle waves at her mid-upper torso. Her starkly pale complexion clashes dramatically with this; along with the cold, flint silvery green eyes she views the world from. Standing at an imposing 5”7, Cierryne is neither as willowy as a warlock or an Illuvrien, or as well-built as a human. Instead, she is sinewy and lean-built, giving her a certain hardy elusiveness and granting her both strength and stealth when it comes to combat. Like all Doristar, she has the same symbol of a sickle moon on her forehead. This symbol is invisible to unsuspecting eyes; and is only visible when blood is drawn from the Doristan mage, of when sudden emotions ignite- starting a pulse reaction that causes the dread symbol to show up with frightening visibility.

Attire: Cierryne is usually attired in one of her dark armoury gowns; allowing for both subdued elegance and fighting practicality. Half ashamed of her Doristan identity in front of those she knew before her genes twisted into that of a true Doristan; she often dons a dark cloak in order to shield her face.

History: Cierryne was born to a Doristan mage who walked by the name of Rhiannon, and an Illuvrien maiden named Gwyleth. Rhiannon was a Dark Mage renowned for his prowess in the Dark Arts. He was one of the majority who were born as one of the Doristar, and was hailed as the ruler of the Dark Mages. His fiery ruthlessness and reckless bloodlust set him apart from the rest of the Doristar, and in this way, he carved out for himself a name of death and hatred. Needing the blood of a pure maiden for one of his spells, which would enable him to pass his powers down to his predecessor and thus carry on the Doristan gene, he seduced one of the Illuvrien- the fairest of the Revered Daughters- one named Gwyleth. Winning her over with his deadly charm and eventually turning her against her own kin, Rhiannon brought Gwyleth back to his dark fortress and imprisoned her there as his wife and as his slave. Gwyleth realized that there had never been any true, reprised love in the union she had thought to be perfect. She bore Rhiannon two daughters. The elder daughter she named Shyanna, and the younger daughter she named Cierryne- 'Shadow bane' in the Ancient Tongue. Cierryne saw and realized the darkness in her father, and swore to banish that darkness forever. For a time, the two sisters lit up the dark fortress with the sounds of their singing and laughter- sounds that both infuriated and angered their father. Shyanna was closer to Cierryne than any other, and the two were inseperable. However, after a period of time, Shyanna fell ill with an incurable malady and eventually died. From then on, Cierryne’s laughter was no longer heard in the corridors of the dark fortress; and the sound of her laughter was a rarity. Where she had once danced gaily with her elder sister, Cierryne, who had not inherited the Doristan gene from her father, now wandered in a silent reverie; lost in her own dark thoughts. Although Gwyleth loved Cierryne dearly, she found solace in a werewolven warrior named Dermont; one of the Dark Mages; and bore him a son.
Later, Rhiannon stabbed Gwyleth in the back and drained her blood for his spell. However, while he was instilling his powers into Cierryne; his daughter, overcome with grief and anger, attacked him by surprise and killed him where he stood.

Having killed one of her own kindred, Cierryne- as according to the Ancient Doristan Law- in turn had her blood twisted into an unnatural genetic mix-up, and became one of the damned race of the Doristar. As she was not of age to take on her father’s role as ruler of the Dark Mages, she was appointed as the Steel Regent of the Doristar- until the time came when she could rise to the throne. However, Cierryne remained haunted by her past; resenting her newfound Doristan identity and the dark responsibility it brought with it.

"...I've become the very thing I swore to kill." --Cierryne

shout it out.

2005-10-31T00:30:00.000-08:00

all right. after that very emotion-charged, very dramatic post about role-playing, I think it would only be psychologically healthy for me to move on to something more peaceful. Like shoutouts. So here goes.

Maxy: heyy girl! How long have we been besties for again? *counts* P2,P3,P4,P5,P6,Sec1...whoa. 6 years. And prolly for many more years to come, hopefully. Gosh. Time flies, yeah? Remember how we used to be the two nerdy looking P2s? Sheesh. That was a looong time ago, and I still remember it. You're the one I can act retarded with:)) and laugh and laugh and laugh until my sides are splitting. I had tons of fun searching for the picture of your *coughcoughimaginedcough* boyfriend on photobucket. It was stellar major! Oh yeah. And don't remember to invite me to the wedding, when you marry your blonde-haired blue-eyed freak of a cutie. I want to be the matron of honour. And I will be at any cost, cos there's no way I'm getting married before you do. Muahaha.

Avvie: For once, I shall not call you Avveh. Lol. And yeah I looove talking about our fic with you! It's gonna be sooo cool. I can hardly wait. This will be our greatest fic yet<3 Surprisingly, I have managed to keep an intact nose while hanging out with you. Quite a feat, no? Lol. you're like the only one i can write stuff with. Arent we just so rad? Either that, or we're geeks. XP But no. I think we're just the two creative geniuses. Aenildur and Cierryne...yay. And btw, ignore the biatches who're dissing you. I just want you to remember that you're special, and we love you just the way you are. Love you lots and lots. :))

Nic: Heyy nikki nikki noo! Haha. Thanks for everything. Yes, and I do remember those awful nights we spent burning the midnight oil doing ISO, while others...*nudge*...went to bed and went to sleep!! And I'll never stop teasing you about you know who. I'm not gonna say names here, in case he comes on and sees it...I'm so nice, aint I? And lao shi's right. Learn to chill. It helps, really. <3>

Jae: Yo, ma homie! *cringe* Gosh. That came out SO WRONG. But yes. Anyway. Thanks for the memories. Specially the time when you were playing that funny hand game with Avvie, and you had that LOOK on your face...goshyoushouldhaveseenyourself! I was going to pop with laughter as it was. I am going to come over to your house and play and play and play Dungeon Siege II. It looks sooo cool, and I'll never forget the time we were forced to eat papaya and coconuts at your house!! Grr...you still owe me one. :)))

Jia Ni: One word for you, Jia Ni. Smarty pants!!! Sheesh. I don't know why you're so smart, and it aint fair at all. You musta stolen all the good DNA. *grins* But nahh. Tisnt your fault you're so friggin clever. Lion! *snicker* Keep rocking, you. Just slow down and let the rest of us catch up!! Love lots. <3>

Ting: I reallly doubt you're gonna read this. But here's your shoutout anyway :) I'm so nice. And I'm kinda surprised you still have an intact jawbone, after all the weird comments you made sometimes about my dress sense...grrr. You're really lucky that you're my friend and all, cos if not-- oww. But yeah I do sorta enjoy hearing you rant about how you need a new mascara and how you're fat [so not] and all that kinda stuff. Go you. :))

Yi Ling: Heya! Haha. Thanks for everything. Like, ahh. I don't know. Just for being a great friend and all that. Remember me next time, when you're some beeyootiful famous ballerina...and don't forget to throw me flowers from the stage!! hint: I like lilies. XD]

Sarah: Without you, deah...I would prolly have gotten MANY scoldings from lao shi by now. You're my saving grace, you really are. Thanks for always reminding and nagging me about what to bring, yadadyadadadada. Yes. It does mean a lot to me, so thank you. *hugs*

Shu: Heyy Shooo! Love you lots too. I miss our group. :(( And I miss you too. You've really gotta blog more often. I love reading your blog, strange as that may sound. It's interesting and quirky and yadayada...I shall not boost your ego. Just go and post more. :)) Love you much!

Mel: Chinese expert! Gosh. I'm gonna miss you in drama next year...hope I'm not the only one from our class. That would be sooo horrid. Ugh. But anyways. Thanks for being such a fab stage manager during Drama Night. Yes-- I still remember! ANOTHER piece of evidence to prove that once again, I am nice!! yeah, but wtv. love you lots as well. Rock on!

To all of 1G: Hey, to whoever I left out-- I still love you just as much. I'm gonna miss y'all hella bad. Don't forget to miss me too. *grins* I'll never forget you all. And that's a promise.

reality vs. fantasy

2005-10-30T23:28:00.000-08:00

role-playing is NOT all occultic.
how can anyone just classify it that way, when they haven't even tried it?
and how can you just take it away, when you don't even have the slightest idea what it is about anyway?
you all just don't get it, do you? role playing...fantasy in general...is an escape. life gets hard, y'know. and maybe you all think you can just stand up to it and take it down- just like that- but i know it doesn't work that way. I'm not going to back down from reality, but at the same time, you all are going to work yourselves to death if you're going to just drown yourselves in reality all the bloody time.
yeah FINE. go ahead. tell me i need to get a life.
Frankly, I couldn't care less. It's not so much the practice as the concept.
Go ahead and ask anyone at A-U. They'll tell you one main thing-- that they go there to escape from reality. To try and forget about how much pain life is imposing on them, so they can get up the courage to turn around and face life again.

If fantasy is a sin
then I'm guilty as accused.

2005-10-30T08:29:00.000-08:00

YES!!!!! I KNOW THE PROBLEM CARA!!! I'M A GENIUS!

duh. look at the times of the posts. they're different. you must have accidentally set it. chill. just click 'edit posts' and edit the post and change the time! ((:

http://littlepinkflower.diary-x.com

2005-10-30T08:25:00.000-08:00

HI I'M AVRIL.

um cara? i can't change anything because i'm a GUEST. but anyway. just toy around wit the settings; i don't think it's the code... i can't tell, i'm only a GUEST. ):

but anyway. nice blog. i guess. just remember to TRY and tag me (: thanks btw for tagging.

*you should REALLY get a diary-x account. keep out the anons. and isn't it just cool to have so many users?! lol! ((:

i think i'm destroying the image if this blog. maybe i'm just too ~~cheerful.~~